Pastor Bolaji Idowu, the lead pastor of Harvesters International Christian Centre (HICC), has stirred significant conversations online and offline following a recent sermon in which he urged women to clearly understand their roles in relationships. According to him, “ladies, you are not called to build your man; you are called to support your man.”
The viral clip, which has been widely circulated across social media platforms such as X (formerly Twitter) and Instagram, shows Pastor Bolaji addressing his congregation during a Sunday service. In the video, he passionately told women that their purpose in a man’s life is not to act as rescuers or providers but to complement and support him. His words triggered excitement among the audience, with many church members applauding and cheering as he spoke.
During the sermon, Pastor Bolaji highlighted practical scenarios, pointing out how some women often find themselves taking on burdens that are not theirs to carry. “Some of you have positioned yourselves as builders,” he explained. “When his car is bad, you step in to fix it. When he can’t pay rent, you handle it. When there are gaps, you take full responsibility. That is not the role God gave you. Once you start doing that, you move from being a partner to being a saviour, a controller, even a Mother Teresa figure in the relationship.”
He stressed that women taking on such responsibilities often end up feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and unappreciated. According to him, this imbalance can create unhealthy dynamics in relationships, where the woman feels burdened and the man becomes overly dependent instead of growing into his leadership role.
The pastor’s message has since attracted massive attention, with thousands reacting online. Supporters of Pastor Bolaji argue that he is simply teaching women the importance of balance in relationships and encouraging men to step up as providers and leaders. They believe his sermon is a necessary reminder for women to maintain boundaries and not allow themselves to be drained emotionally, financially, or spiritually.
However, critics disagree with his message, stating that relationships are about mutual effort, sacrifice, and partnership. They argue that reducing a woman’s role to only “support” limits her agency and fails to reflect the reality of modern marriages and partnerships, where couples often build together and share responsibilities equally. For these critics, Pastor Bolaji’s sermon enforces traditional gender roles that may no longer suit today’s relationship dynamics.
Despite the controversy, Pastor Bolaji is known for delivering bold, thought-provoking teachings that spark public debates. This latest sermon adds to his reputation as a preacher who is unafraid to challenge conventional beliefs and push conversations about faith, gender, and modern-day relationships.
Watch the video of Pastor Bolaji’s sermon below …
“Ladies should stop building their men; you are meant to support them, not build them.”
– Pastor Bolaji Idowu advises female church members pic.twitter.com/uh9sabLoxd
— CHUKS 🍥 (@ChuksEricE) October 3, 2025