A young lady has sparked a heated debate on social media after boldly stating that, in Igbo land, a woman is often judged as a wife material not by her character, love, or values, but by the amount of suffering and pain she is able to endure.
The outspoken lady made it clear that she strongly disagrees with such cultural standards, openly declaring that by those definitions, she does not consider herself a wife material. Her video has since gone viral, stirring conversations about outdated traditions, gender roles, and the pressure placed on women in relationships.
In the video, which was shared on X (formerly Twitter), she narrated her personal experiences when her man came to visit her parents, and later when she went to visit his family. The sharp contrast between both visits, she explained, left her deeply unsettled and questioning the expectations society places on women.
When her man visited her home, she described how she immediately joined her mother in the kitchen to help prepare food, while her father generously provided drinks to entertain the guest. She said her family treated him with great warmth and respect, making sure he felt comfortable and welcome. “He was treated like a king,” she stressed. After the meal, she collected his plate, handed it over to her siblings to wash, and together, they ensured the entire house was clean, all in honor of him.
However, her experience was completely different when she visited her man’s family. She said that instead of being welcomed and treated as a guest, she was immediately asked by his mother to go into the kitchen and cook food for the entire family. Not only that, but after everyone had finished eating, she was instructed to wash all the plates that had been used by every member of the household. The stark difference in treatment left her feeling unappreciated and disrespected.
The young lady expressed her displeasure, saying it was unfair that in some traditions, a woman’s worth or suitability as a wife is measured by how much she can endure humiliation, stress, and burdens rather than being valued for her love, intelligence, or contribution to the relationship. She emphasized that if the true definition of “wife material” is tied to a woman’s ability to suffer endlessly, then she wants no part of it and does not fit into that description.
In her viral clip, she also added a striking caption that has since drawn widespread attention: “I don go my house, when you’re ready to marry, carry your mama come beg me.” Many interpreted this as her way of saying she has no interest in begging or proving herself to anyone’s family through unnecessary suffering.
Her remarks have fueled intense online reactions, with some people agreeing with her and praising her courage for speaking out against toxic cultural practices, while others criticized her for rejecting long-standing traditions. The debate continues to highlight the clash between modern perspectives on marriage and the more traditional expectations still held in many communities.
From her tone and words in the video, many netizens believe she may have even left her man’s family home in anger after being subjected to such treatment. Her story has since become a trending topic, sparking broader discussions on the redefinition of “wife material” in today’s society.
Watch the video here…
“Wife material is weighed by the level of svfering and pa!n a woman can take. I am not a wife material” – Lady declares pic.twitter.com/GVrphHF3Iv
— TENIOLA (@Teeniiola) October 1, 2025